entry 1

Well isn't this fun!
Either this day will live in infamy or this will be the beginning of opening a whole new door to my life and mind. Scary isn't it.

How much to share? I know that to document a feeling for the world to share in can do many things. None of which I claim the foreshadowing to predict. And with that rather vague and benign disclaimer we shall begin.

I had a feeling today. I do not claim to never have feelings otherwise(though some would argue to the contrary lol). I share this only because in this journey called life my "feelings" have been something of a puzzle. Have you ever been a ninja? Stalking quietly thru the familiarity of your own home in the dark? Coffee table. Couch 2 clicks to the south. The glow of a digitalized clock on the dvd player. Everything is gooFUCK!WHENDIDWEGETTHISFREAKINLAMP!CRASH! .....This has been a trend for me lately(how fitting as "cry me a river" mocks me in the backround).

Wondering what the hell this crazy man is talking about yet?

Ambiguous much? haha!

Ok. Ok. I love someone. She is beautiful. She is intelligent. She laughs like no one is watching. She loves with no expectation. She HELLA understands. She has unwittingly shown me that life is good. She loves me unconditionally.
WHATAREYOUWAITINGFOR!!!!

Sounds so cut and dry, right? At this moment it is very hard to amass sufficient reasoning to explain why I am here and she is there. But wait there's more. I should no take the time to mention I've spent the last year and a half comfortably in the friend zone. Ignorant to the fact that at some point she may have sat in her bed at some ungodly hour attempting to explain to herself why the hell she was there and I was wherever. Laugh, sigh in empathy, slap your forehead DOH! All would be appropriate for the moment. What's that story about ships passing in the night? Yeah well fuck that story!

Back to that feeling... atleast it seems my eyes are adjusting to the dark.

What will I do? A friend once told me "Masa, Love is an action. If you love someone you do things for them to show it." Continue to do the things I've been doing to the best of my ability.